hey
i made a holiday card this year
it's like a christmas card but secular
(i didn't think it would arrive before christmas)
you weren't really here this year
i often wasn't either
meeting you last year
proved
important
to me
i thought lots about our fling
things we said
things i did
things we didn't get around to
a lot of it was yearning
absentminded wanting
missing you
regretting the end
thinking i should've been better
for you
and just as much was reflection
focused analysis
growth
actively becoming better
for me
i figured out a lot this year
not because of you
it was all me
(but you helped)
(thanks)
anyway
i made a holiday card
celebrating my 2025
because my victories were plentiful but small
not like 2023
when everything was new
and triumphant
or 2024
when everything was bad
except a few things
(like you)
so they're easy to forget
and you contributed
i wouldn't have had a lot of these wins
especially not the way i did
had we not met
can i send you my holiday card?
it's vulnerable
(in the way i was too scared to be with you)
and intimate
in the way that greeting cards never are
so if the answer's no that's okay
it's been a while
and i don't know what you think of me
(i generally assume you don't)
i would respect that.
i would really appreciate if you said yes, though
i want to tell you that i lived this year
it doesn't have everything
but i didn't die
(though you must have assumed that)
and i didn't waste away in pseudoaliveness
may i send you my holiday card?
if so, what is your address?
or should i drop it off?
(getting greedy)
(haha)
let me know!
:)
so,
happy holidays
i hope they've been kind to you this year
(especially compared to last year)
-mira
ps: i have a book rec for you
text me if you want it
(still greedy)
(haha)
12/23/25